Mark Borowecki shares his struggles with mental health
During the game on Jan. 30, Borowiecki was distraught, feeling he'd let his teammates, coaches, and family down. Soon later, the Tampa Bay Lightning scored on the power play.
«When they scored, it was just a little too much for me to handle,» he explained.
He then returned to his team's locker room and vomited.
«I was just in a very dark place,» Borowiecki said. «I had this urge to hit someone or hurt someone. (It was) an incorrect way to deal with it, for sure. I knew I needed help to get back on track at that point.»
Borowiecki had a panic attack that night, though he was unaware of it. He had undiagnosed OCD, which he mistook for nervousness for a long period.
«You see a lot of athletes say, �I'm my own worst enemy. I'm so hard on myself.' I was hard on myself to the point where it became borderline dangerous,» said Borowiecki. «I was so upset about making an inconsequential mistake in a game that thoughts of taking my own life occurred. It was like, why is that happening?"
«Every guy says this every year � �This is the best shape I'm in. This is the best I've felt going into camp.' But having put in all this work on the mental side of the game and the mental side of my life, this is the best I've felt. This is the most excited I've been to play hockey, and at 32, I think that's pretty special.»
Wow its just crazy that NHL players suffer so much pain outside of the rink.
